So it has been a long time since my last post. Why? Well let's see I have: directed a show at the Edinburgh fringe and given my overdraft one hell of a beating and then some, left the pricey streets of London behind and returned home to live with my parents (eeek!), got a job IN THEATRE (wayhey!) and an internship in the marketing department of said theatre. Aaaaand breathe. Throw into the mix the collapse of my Dad's business (resulting in the loss of both of my parent's jobs) and you have got one hectic start to 2011.
So for me it's all new horizons, bright hopes for a future in the arts and general bliss right? Er well nearly.
As far as new horizons go I have in fact returned to my childhood home so the horizons of my impossibly small village are achingly familiar. It's a village with a population of about 200, mostly over 50s, with one community run shop and a pub full of lovely, if slightly violent and casually racist, locals. A far cry from the wonderfully diverse streets of North London where you could hear 10 different languages being spoken before breakfast. But it's not all bad, I do not miss the sweaty London Underground at 7am, being sandwiched together like sardines or pressed up against people like cattle in a trailer - if cattle had horrific smelling aftershave and substituted deodorant in place of a proper shower. Nor do I miss that culture many Londoners subscribe to of being permanently stressed out and self important. Here in leafy Warwickshire people are relaxed, they eat cake and don't feel searing guilt, they say hello to you in the street and even look you in the eye and start up genial conversations about the weather on public transport. There are more trees and fewer tower blocks, bad smells tend to be farmyard related and very few people bother to lock their front doors.
Living with my parents isn't that bad either. I love my Mum and Dad and, although I've had to return to our little cottage where I only have one half of a bedroom, I've acclimatised well to the change.
My job is great too, I work front of house most days (ushering shows and manning the exhibitions) and on Tuesdays I intern in the Marketing department. It's the perfect combination: Working in a theatre environment as an usher and gaining new skills for the next stage of my career in the office.
The problem is this - I am 22, living in the middle of nowhere in a village where there are more sheep than people miles from any town and hundreds of miles away from my friends. I can't drive and can't afford to learn. I have essentially sacrificed any semblance of a social life in order to pursue my goal of working in theatre. Boo hoo, so a few less parties and no one to talk to about music and politics eh? Well the thought that haunts me is; will it be worth it? With all the brutal cuts to arts funding, by the time I've worked my way up the ladder to a 'proper' position (in my rural seclusion) will the pool of arts jobs have shrunk so drastically that all my experience will be worthless? Will there always be a bigger fish? Those arts oracles who have been axed from the arts council and companies which have had to tighten their belts, with all their years of experience and reams of contacts will snap up the best jobs before plucky twenty somethings can get a look in. Should I just be having fun and living my life to the full with the people who make me happiest? Or do I continue the hard slog towards ever shifting goal posts? Many questions but so far I cannot find the answers. I just hope that at the end of 2011 I am happier and have gain some idea of where all this is going. I also hope I am still enchanted with the theatre, even if often it seems to distance me from my friends and rob me blind.
Image: courtesy of mpujals on flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/pepemichelle/3645214132/
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